Halloween Karma (Pt I)...What a B**ch!

The only thing crazier about a weekend is adding Halloween prep to all the “normal” weekend activities that must also take place.  Needless to say I CANNOT believe that the weekend is over already!!  The good news though……costume shopping is DONE for both myself and my husband!  What are we going to be you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  Halloween for the longest time has been one of our favorite holidays.  Mike and I have a blast putting costumes together and we are big on making them look as authentic as possible.  However, after many years of costuming, we have run out of ideas.  Some couples have trouble picking out baby names….well, we have become the same way with costumes.  We pass hundreds of ideas back and forth, only one person likes it, and after of hundreds of suggestions you have nothing.  Then that perfect idea comes along.  The mere suggestion of it makes both of your faces light up and say YES! That is it! 




Photo courtesy of Filmjackets.com

   

Photo courtesy of Cinemagora





For Mike and I, this year, that idea was to go as Indiana Jones (hubba hubba) and Lara Croft (from the Tomb Raider video game and movie franchise).    

Now, the real challenge begins…you have to put the costumes together.

This would be a great time to thank, of course, none other than the other half of my brain, Pinky/Chelle, for helping me get the ball rolling on Friday evening with ideas and SHOPPING for costume parts.  What a great way to kick off the weekend!   I assure you there is nothing scarier than when the two halves of the brain come together.  Shopping, at least for Chelle and me, can almost always be defined as…. “Two mad women on a mission overflowing with laughter, craziness, and insanity that like to suck unsuspecting store workers into our antics”.  I am sure that one of these days the stores are going to catch on, see us walking across the parking lot, and run to lock the door before our hands manage to reach the door handle.

Our last stop of the evening was the craft store.   Not having any luck with one of the pieces of my costume, we decided we would go get the parts so I could craft it up.  As we walked through store, we gathered up all the supplies I needed and reviewed what was left on my list to hunt down on Saturday.  Then we approached the register.  The clerk, a late teens or early twenties young man in college, doing his best to maintain great customer service decided to start up a conversation with us centered around our items.  Intrigued that they were for a Halloween costume, he of course inquired further.  Here is how the conversation went……

Clerk:  “So what are you going to be?”

Tab:  “Well, I am going to do my best to put a Lara Croft, Tomb Raider costume together.”

Clerk:  (giggling) “Oh”

Tab:  (politely smiling) “What is so funny? You are making me self conscious here”

Clerk:   “I know about the history of that game character.  Did you know that the software engineer of that game made a mistake when he created it?  Yeah, he put in a 100 instead of a 10 for her chest size”

Tab:  (looking down at myself) “Yeah, I had heard some rumblings about that. “ (I look at Chelle and mumble)  “I am afraid that things may not totally be authentic in that respect”

Now, Chelle and I can only figure that what we heard next was the product of an under-developed internal filter as he focused on a picture of the character while also trying to be helpful.   As a result, his innocent brain and our gutter brains went in separate directions when he then BLURTED out…

Clerk:  “Yeah, you are probably going to need A LOT of tissue paper for that costume!”

Chelle and Tab’s mind bubble conversation: (looking at each other in amazement)  “Did he just say what I think he said?   Yep, he sure did.   Does he realize what he said?”

Apparently not, because the conversation did not stop there…

Chelle:  OMG! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Tab:  (smirking, and giggling) “Yeah, uh….thanks.”

Clerk:  (with a very naïve, confused look that indicated that he could not figure out why we were laughing) “I’m just saying she is big, and that would be the hardest part of the costume to do”

Tab:  (laughing) “Yeah, I got it….give me my receipt…and shhhhh stop talking”

Chelle:  ROFLHAO!  (Rolling On the Floor Laughing Her A** Off)

Clerk:  “Have a great night...and good luck with your costume.”

Tab:  (once again, mumbling with giggle) ”Yeah, yeah, thanks…..for nothing”

As we walked out the door, we burst into complete hysterics.  While trying to keep from having an embarrassing accident in our pants, Chelle manages to catch her breath as she looks at me and says…..

Chelle:  “Well, I guess you better add tissue paper to the list of things to get!”

All I have to say to that is….”Yeah, just wait until Monday’s Total Body Conditioning class!  Revenge is mine! "

Cardinal Rule of Shopping.....

One thing I re-learned and solidified in my mind this weekend…..There are certain things that should not be shopped for alone!  Now, normally, I would not mind shopping alone, however, through years of mall hopping I compiled a list of items that should NOT be shopped for without some serious back-up on your side.   When I say back-up, I mean a shopping partner that is tasked with the duty of keeping you sane and realistic as you stand in front of the funhouse mirrors in the department store dressing rooms. What are they thinking with those things?!?!?!?!?! (NOTE TO SELF:  Next week begin plotting the “Down with Dressing Room Mirrors” protest)

So what are the items you should not seek out alone???   I am glad you asked…….They are as follows:   bathing suits, jeans, and formal wear.  I ventured into in the formal wear category last weekend looking for a dress to wear for my brother’s wedding that I am going to this weekend.  Good news though....I must have burned 2,000 calories at least trying on hundreds of dresses and I did find one that is going to work :D  However, without a trusty sidekick, I assure you completing the task took way too many hours then it should have. 

Oh, and just a side story…at one point I got so defeated I decided that I was going to leave one mall and go to another.  As I trudged to my car, I was deep in thought of the best place to go and how I was going to get there.  Well, when I got to my car I pulled my little backpack/purse of my shoulder and immediately became mortified.  OMG!!! I couldn’t believe it!  I actually walked through the ENTIRE MALL only to find that I had been doing so with the strapless bra I brought with me half hanging out of my purse!!!!  Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!?! I believe that is what they call icing on the cake. With tears in my eyes, all I could say to myself at that point was… ”You will laugh about this later; you will laugh about this later; you will laugh about this later.”  Ok, so maybe after the initial shock and feeling mortified, I high-tailed it out of the parking lot.  And…..5 minutes LATER, after I was sure I was clear of the building…..I LAUGHED (What??? Technically it was later right?).

On a final note, I just want to say how awesome it is to see the overwhelming response to the 12 week program that we are getting ready to kick off.  This is only the start of something great for everyone, I assure you.  If you are still planning on applying, you have until Saturday, October 15^th at 11:59pm to get your information to us.  It is a very easy process with the online form.  Just go to http://recipeforfitness.com/application.html , fill out the application and click submit.  If you are just tuning in and have no idea what I am rambling about, take a look at Chelle’s blog titled:

It’s Time to Take Over the World….

http://blog.recipeforfitness.com/2011/10/its-time-to-take-over-world_3983.html

Tuesday Motivation:  Get ‘er done and leave nothing on the table today!  It will leave you with less to clean up later.

Everyone have a Terrific Tuesday!