The Beast Hath Been Slain!

Who finally did it?!?!?!!  Who finally stared down the Fear Beast and kicked it’s A$$????  Oh Yeah....I DID!  OK, OK, Here is the story.  A few months ago….okay maybe more than a few (November 2011) I humbly confessed that my biggest fear at the time was to take the leap and actually get in front of a class to teach Spin.  If you missed the blog it is a must read for all the background information:

Fear! An Equal Opportunity Tormentor!

I made a promise at that time and to you all and myself that I would do it and right away.  And guess what…..I put it off.  Then I said I was going to make it my 2012 New Year’s resolution to teach a Spin class before I left on our cruise April 6^th.  And guess what……it didn’t happen.

Now, I could rattle off a whole slew of reasons why it was put off, but they would serve as nothing better than a bunch of excuses. (BLECH, Hate that word!)  When it really came right down to it I was afraid of not being very good, failing, and I was letting that fear get the best of me.  This is something that I am not proud of, but hey, I am a work in progress.

Well last week (Monday) I found out that they were looking for a permanent instructor for a Spin class Tuesday evenings at 6:00pm  at the gym where I am on staff.  And here is how the internal monologue went….

Positive brain:  “You can do this”

Negative brain:  “No I can’t”

Positive brain:  “Shut up, YES you can! You can get everything you need together and practice for a couple of weeks and you will be ready to rock!”

Positive brain (I think the positive side got ticked and duct taped up the mouth on the negative side):   “Ok I will I do it, I will give it my all and it will be great”

I called my boss to let her know I would love to give it a shot.  After we chit chatted for about 15 minues, I asked in a very breezy tone, “So when is my first class?”  

To which she answered, “May 1^st, next Tuesday.”  I about dropped the phone.  I had ONE WEEK!

Negative side of the brain: “Oooooops…..What the heck did you just do?!?!?!?!?!   

That was not at ALL how the plan was supposed to go! I wanted to hang up the phone and RUN! There was no way I was going to be ready (even though I have had a class plan ready to go since December).  However, instead of running I mustered enough breath to say in a now muffled tone, “Sounds great, I’ll talk to you later.”  I hung up the phone, and then….PANIC!  You name it… shakes, nerves, tears, hyperventilation, worry, doubt, stage fright…. I panicked for an entire week!   Boy did Chelle and Mike (my husband) hear it…….ALL……WEEK…….LONG (Thank you to you both for not killing me). 

What I did not do though, was run.  With their encouragement, I made the decision that ready or not, now was the time to conquer this goal.  Once I make those kinds of decisions I will do whatever it takes to get the job done.  I studied my notes, fine tuned my plan, visualized my class, and listened to my playlist (over and over and over again)  In that weeks’ time I did everything I possibly could to feel prepared and then Tuesday came and……Yep you guessed it!  I PANICKED some more.  But I knew what I had to do.  I should tell you that when I walk in to a room to teach it’s game time!  My students don’t care if I am scared, nauseous, or have stage fright.  The only thing they care about is getting a fun, and challenging work out and thus I will do everything in my power to make that happen for them.  I did what I had to do as I tried to check all my negative energy and emotion at door and then…… IT WAS ON!  I don’t mess around when it comes to teaching classes.  Just ask anyone who has been in my classes over the years.  Class started promptly at 6:00pm and I had two of my favorite familiar faces there to get their butts kicked and offer their support in person (Thank you Chelle AND Bill)!!!   I pushed, I pedaled, I coached, I missed cues, I almost puked, but I gave it my all!  And 5 minutes AFTER class ended…..I FELT BETTER! Then I realized....

I DID IT!  No, it wasn’t perfect and yes, I need some work, but I CONQUERED IT! I followed through, I finished, I was alive, and I felt great! VICTORY WAS MINE!   It was fun (at least for me!) and most importantly….I would do it again! Oh wait, I do have to do it again, in ONE WEEK!  YIKES!  That being said, I have to go now and work on my class plan for next Tuesday.  While I go do that, I challenge you all to work this week on one thing you have been putting off forever in the shadow of fear. 

What’s it gonna be?  What Beast are you going to SLAY?

FEAR! An Equal Opportunity Tormentor!

I have been in the fitness industry for over 10 years.  With my group fitness credentials I have taught hundreds of step classes, boot camp classes, muscle conditioning classes, kickboxing classes, and even a few dance classes.  A few months ago I participated in training to add both ZUMBA and cycle to my list of formats.  I do not have a problem wearing a microphone, nor do I have a problem being in front of a class (most of the time).   Ok so……With all this in mind, why is it, I ask you, that I am so MASSIVELY AFRAID to get out there and teach a ZUMBA or a cycle/spinning class???  We are talking butterflies the size of semi-trucks! 

Hello, my name is Tabitha and I am a “cycle and ZUMBA instructor virgin”.   Here’s the problem and what goes through my head regularly…  Unless my classes are perfect, there is no way anyone will want to come to them.  So rather than run the risk of being  the ZUMBA or cycle instructor that people DO NOT like, I should stick to what I know and with what I am comfortable doing.  Even though I have taught all the other formats so many times…and you can ask Chelle this…I still always get this flash of fear as I am standing outside the classroom door to go teach…”What if no one wants to come to my party”.  How is that for knocking yourself down!?!?!?! 

Like you all, I have people that I idolize.  Some of my idols are “STUPENDOUSLY WAY AWESOME” fitness instructors.   I have met them in person, taken their classes, and have trained with them to get my new certifications (i.e. – ZUMBA and Cycle).  Their classes are OUT OF THIS WORLD, the best classes I have ever been to.  Thank you JULZ ARNEY, JAY BLAHNIK and VANESSA LUPERCIO!   I am fortunate because they have shared with ME the tools I need to succeed in creating the same magic that they do on a regular basis.  But, stepping out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there in this way is sooooo HARD! 
What if I fail???  Ok now…..WAIT!!! STOP!

With all of the talk about goals and transformation in the last few weeks I decided this weekend that these unhealthy thinking patterns have got to change!!  I need to transform and get my mind in check.  After doing quite a bit of soul searching, talking to other instructors, talking to some of you (Thank You RFF Transformation Participants), and reviewing my tools, I finally have the courage to take the first step.   This step, as it was over 10 years ago when I first started teaching, is to focus on creating and COMPLETING my first class plans in these formats (something I have been struggling to do since I have gotten ZUMBA and cycling certified).  On Sunday, I started with a cycling class.  It took me all day practically, but I am happy to say that my first cycle class plan is DONE!  Next step…..PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE (‘nough said there)!   Then that final and most crucial step… JUMP OFF THE EDGE….get my booty in front of a class and TEACH IT! UGH! 

I know the last one is going to be the hardest.  However, I believe deep down that when I get on the other side of that first class it is going to be one of the most rewarding feelings I have ever had.  In the end, it is going to make all the uncertainty, discomfort, and struggle worth it, because I know that it is something I really enjoy and want to do well.  My first few classes are probably not going to be perfect, but that is why I am a work in progress.  I will continue to work at it and this how I will grow and improve.  Yuck!  Those words tasted like vinegar coming out of the mouth of a perfectionist.  All I want to do is to have fun and influence others in the same way that my idols have influenced me.   The only way I know to achieve this is to have the courage to put myself out there, to try my best, and do everything within my power to conquer these fears...even if I have to do it over and over again.  So here is my mantra for the week…..

COURAGE, do your BEST, and CONQUER!

 Ok, with that said…Let’s get this week started!!