Who finally did it?!?!?!! Who finally
stared down the Fear Beast and kicked it’s A$$???? Oh Yeah....I DID! OK, OK,
Here is the story. A few months ago….okay maybe more than a few (November
2011) I humbly confessed that my biggest fear at the time was to take the leap
and actually get in front of a class to teach Spin. If you missed the
blog it is a must read for all the background information:
I made a promise at that time and to you all and
myself that I would do it and right away. And guess what…..I put it off.
Then I said I was going to make it my 2012 New Year’s resolution to teach
a Spin class before I left on our cruise April 6th. And guess
what……it didn’t happen.
Now, I could rattle off a whole slew of reasons
why it was put off, but they would serve as nothing better than a bunch of
excuses. (BLECH, Hate that word!) When it really came right down to
it I was afraid of not being very good, failing, and I was letting that fear get
the best of me. This is something that I am not proud of, but hey, I
am a work in progress.
Well last week (Monday) I found out that they
were looking for a permanent instructor for a Spin class Tuesday evenings at
6:00pm at the gym where I am on staff. And here is how the
internal monologue went….
Positive brain: “You can do this”
Negative brain: “No I can’t”
Positive brain: “Shut up, YES you can! You can get
everything you need together and practice for a couple of weeks and you will be
ready to rock!”
Positive brain (I think
the positive side got ticked and duct taped up the mouth on the negative side): “Ok I will I do it, I will give it my all and it
will be great”
I called my boss to let her know I would love to
give it a shot. After we chit chatted for about 15 minues, I asked
in a very breezy tone, “So when is my first class?”
To which she answered, “May 1st, next
Tuesday.” I about dropped the phone. I had ONE WEEK!
Negative side of the
brain: “Oooooops…..What
the heck did you just do?!?!?!?!?!
That was not at ALL how the plan was supposed to
go! I wanted to hang up the phone and RUN! There was no way I was going to be
ready (even though I have had a class plan ready to go since December). However,
instead of running I mustered enough breath to say in a now muffled tone,
“Sounds great, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up the phone, and
then….PANIC! You name it… shakes, nerves, tears, hyperventilation,
worry, doubt, stage fright…. I panicked for an entire week! Boy
did Chelle and Mike (my husband) hear it…….ALL……WEEK…….LONG (Thank you to you
both for not killing me).
What I did not do though, was run. With
their encouragement, I made the decision that ready or not, now was the time to
conquer this goal. Once I make those kinds of decisions I will do
whatever it takes to get the job done. I studied my notes, fine tuned my
plan, visualized my class, and listened to my playlist (over and over and over
again) In that weeks’ time I did everything I possibly could to feel
prepared and then Tuesday came and……Yep you guessed it! I PANICKED
some more. But I knew what I had to do. I should tell you
that when I walk in to a room to teach it’s game time! My students don’t
care if I am scared, nauseous, or have stage fright. The only thing
they care about is getting a fun, and challenging work out and thus I will do
everything in my power to make that happen for them. I did what I
had to do as I tried to check all my negative energy and emotion at door and
then…… IT WAS ON! I don’t mess around when it comes to teaching classes. Just
ask anyone who has been in my classes over the years. Class started
promptly at 6:00pm and I had two of my favorite familiar faces there to get
their butts kicked and offer their support in person (Thank you Chelle AND
Bill)!!! I pushed, I pedaled, I coached, I missed cues, I
almost puked, but I gave it my all! And 5 minutes AFTER class
ended…..I FELT BETTER! Then I realized....
I DID IT! No, it wasn’t perfect and yes, I
need some work, but I CONQUERED IT! I followed through, I finished, I was
alive, and I felt great! VICTORY WAS MINE! It was fun (at least for
me!) and most importantly….I would do it again! Oh wait, I do have to do it
again, in ONE WEEK! YIKES! That being said, I have to go now and
work on my class plan for next Tuesday. While I go do that, I challenge
you all to work this week on one thing you have been putting off forever in the
shadow of fear.
What’s it gonna
be? What Beast are you going to SLAY?
