Halloween Karma (Pt I)...What a B**ch!

The only thing crazier about a weekend is adding Halloween prep to all the “normal” weekend activities that must also take place.  Needless to say I CANNOT believe that the weekend is over already!!  The good news though……costume shopping is DONE for both myself and my husband!  What are we going to be you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  Halloween for the longest time has been one of our favorite holidays.  Mike and I have a blast putting costumes together and we are big on making them look as authentic as possible.  However, after many years of costuming, we have run out of ideas.  Some couples have trouble picking out baby names….well, we have become the same way with costumes.  We pass hundreds of ideas back and forth, only one person likes it, and after of hundreds of suggestions you have nothing.  Then that perfect idea comes along.  The mere suggestion of it makes both of your faces light up and say YES! That is it! 




Photo courtesy of Filmjackets.com

   

Photo courtesy of Cinemagora





For Mike and I, this year, that idea was to go as Indiana Jones (hubba hubba) and Lara Croft (from the Tomb Raider video game and movie franchise).    

Now, the real challenge begins…you have to put the costumes together.

This would be a great time to thank, of course, none other than the other half of my brain, Pinky/Chelle, for helping me get the ball rolling on Friday evening with ideas and SHOPPING for costume parts.  What a great way to kick off the weekend!   I assure you there is nothing scarier than when the two halves of the brain come together.  Shopping, at least for Chelle and me, can almost always be defined as…. “Two mad women on a mission overflowing with laughter, craziness, and insanity that like to suck unsuspecting store workers into our antics”.  I am sure that one of these days the stores are going to catch on, see us walking across the parking lot, and run to lock the door before our hands manage to reach the door handle.

Our last stop of the evening was the craft store.   Not having any luck with one of the pieces of my costume, we decided we would go get the parts so I could craft it up.  As we walked through store, we gathered up all the supplies I needed and reviewed what was left on my list to hunt down on Saturday.  Then we approached the register.  The clerk, a late teens or early twenties young man in college, doing his best to maintain great customer service decided to start up a conversation with us centered around our items.  Intrigued that they were for a Halloween costume, he of course inquired further.  Here is how the conversation went……

Clerk:  “So what are you going to be?”

Tab:  “Well, I am going to do my best to put a Lara Croft, Tomb Raider costume together.”

Clerk:  (giggling) “Oh”

Tab:  (politely smiling) “What is so funny? You are making me self conscious here”

Clerk:   “I know about the history of that game character.  Did you know that the software engineer of that game made a mistake when he created it?  Yeah, he put in a 100 instead of a 10 for her chest size”

Tab:  (looking down at myself) “Yeah, I had heard some rumblings about that. “ (I look at Chelle and mumble)  “I am afraid that things may not totally be authentic in that respect”

Now, Chelle and I can only figure that what we heard next was the product of an under-developed internal filter as he focused on a picture of the character while also trying to be helpful.   As a result, his innocent brain and our gutter brains went in separate directions when he then BLURTED out…

Clerk:  “Yeah, you are probably going to need A LOT of tissue paper for that costume!”

Chelle and Tab’s mind bubble conversation: (looking at each other in amazement)  “Did he just say what I think he said?   Yep, he sure did.   Does he realize what he said?”

Apparently not, because the conversation did not stop there…

Chelle:  OMG! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Tab:  (smirking, and giggling) “Yeah, uh….thanks.”

Clerk:  (with a very naïve, confused look that indicated that he could not figure out why we were laughing) “I’m just saying she is big, and that would be the hardest part of the costume to do”

Tab:  (laughing) “Yeah, I got it….give me my receipt…and shhhhh stop talking”

Chelle:  ROFLHAO!  (Rolling On the Floor Laughing Her A** Off)

Clerk:  “Have a great night...and good luck with your costume.”

Tab:  (once again, mumbling with giggle) ”Yeah, yeah, thanks…..for nothing”

As we walked out the door, we burst into complete hysterics.  While trying to keep from having an embarrassing accident in our pants, Chelle manages to catch her breath as she looks at me and says…..

Chelle:  “Well, I guess you better add tissue paper to the list of things to get!”

All I have to say to that is….”Yeah, just wait until Monday’s Total Body Conditioning class!  Revenge is mine! "